Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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