i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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