I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
