Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
zippers are such a cool invention
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
