She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
its liver damage thursday
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