It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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