Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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