Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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