My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
