Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
