people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
