I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
