i just google imaged poop.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
