Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
