it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can I color on your dick again?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
