My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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