you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
