did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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