we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
