You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
