Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
