Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
