sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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