Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
