can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
