i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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