so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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