I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
