how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
