There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
