i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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