The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
