I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
