That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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