There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
