ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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