My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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