Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
