Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
