remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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