i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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