are you still at the devil's house?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
