We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
