How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
