I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
