There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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