Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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