It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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