if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
