As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
