Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
